Friday 11 June 2010

No Internet, no life.

Now I'm no techno-geek, nor am I obsessed with Facebook as a website itself. I scarcely do quizzes, applications (I've whittled it down to Scrabble currently), and I don't inform everyone with a status every time i decide to eat a carrot.
However, I do take issue with not being able to contact my friends, find out what they're up to, see if they fancy meeting up for a jolly good ole' chinwag.
Without internet, this becomes highly difficult, not to mention boring. Some people don't have money on their mobile phones, so they can't text. Some people are just so bloody slow!
And the world cup isn't 24/7, so no matter how much football there is on telly, there's a good 2 hours in the middle where I need to contact other human beings!!
Having the ability to hijack internet is both a relief and a source of pure fury. A relief that for 30-60 minutes I have access to the internet, the fury that it keeps dropping every few minutes, and there's the long reboot. By this point in the blog, it has collapsed twice or thrice. It is indeed a nightmare, and I can't wait for Sky to get there arses in gear and get our phoneline operating properly.
On the plus side, they did an awesome job with our HD. You can see the football rippling the precious hair of Cristiano Ronaldo, and the tears welling from within his eyes.
marvelous.
The world cup is on our screens again, as if you didn't know already. I mean, there's only so much publicity you can give to a country's football tournament where Desmond Tutu and a giant Dung Beetle are used to publicise football, something which isn't involved in either religion, politics nor wildlife, so frankly involvement of such establishments is baffling.
However, you've got to love it
especially if the French lose, again.
Nothing better than mocking cheese eating surrender monkeys
marvelous
God save the Queen ;) x

Thursday 27 May 2010

Our Solemn Hour

Well, the election has been and gone, and finally we have this change so buzzed about. Will be glad to see how life becomes so much more interesting. Maybe we'll have a monorail to colleges and work? A dolphin ride to the shops? Or Churches that actually sing hymns along with the congregation?
No?
Oh ok then
I'll just pay 11p less for a loaf of bread, and make do.
In truth change is never normally a good thing. The only reason Mr Cameron has been elected with his Clegg minion is because change was absolutely necessary, or so most of the nation believed.
But any other forms of change, they just don't seem to sink in as well as the events at No. 10.
A change in school or job is now emotional, it's difficult, it's obstructive to life often, yet sometimes it is necessary.
I suppose seen as this isn't going in a newspaper i'll get personal. The change from High School to College was a huge step. Non of my friends were joining me. I knew very few people at all. I was even taking some new subjects that I hadn't taken at GCSE.
It wasn't easy at all, but it was necessary. And necessity isn't always the provider of good news.
For example, within the first half a day, I had a new mate- "B". It was like the spitting image of me, but better looking and with a bit more wit. Creative, stylish (if i do say so myself) intelligent. It was like the divine creator had made me, and a few months later taken my mold and tweaked each bit, making it a little bit better. And suddenly the change of schools and friendship circles didn't seem too bad
And then he got a girlfriend.
Ladies and gentlemen, a word please. If your best friend finds themselves a new partner, then alarm bells need to be sounding in your head and you need to start digging the grave of your friendship, because they become warped. And if you take a dislike to their partner, jump in it and save the time.
That's what happened to me. Life between us became cold, and after one argument too many with her majesty, I was sent to the gallows.
It breaks my heart, because from a distance I can see she was a very nice girl. Difference is, get too close to her territory, and it becomes a different matter. Part of me thinks it's just instinctive, it quite possibly is, it may not even be hers or any other likewise folk's fault. Difficulty is, that doesn't change the outcome, one of the few changes that would be very welcome indeed.
And changes don't have to even involve another form coming in and ousting you from your position. Sometimes, changes can be in a person.
One friend, "A", was pretty much the best in the business when I met him. Top drawer, premium bonus, first prize, etcetera, etcetera. You know sometimes you find a friend who's more like a brother? That was the basic description of him, and I loved him as such.
As with any love, somewhere along the line, it breaks your heart; and, rather coincidentally, that started to happen as soon as he started to change...
Which rather conveniently was shortly after getting his girlfriend. Maybe I was wrong about there not always being an outside influence...
Anyway, I digress. I often put our little arguments down to being because we're more like brothers, and sometimes we can't stand each other, like many siblings. Natural, I thought.
Being an only child, I haven't had much experience of "siblings". I read about them in a book once though...
His world changed, and narrowed, like a lense cap closing. First it was about his mates. Then it was about her.
Understandable? I thought so. But... surely you don't forsake those who care for you?
As it turned out, he acknowledged this after a year or so, and made a grovelling apology. In fact, one of two quotes I can pull from him are "I have changed (back) you WILL see it"
I didn't
The other quote I can remember was after our first spat, not a big one, so we were still amicable. He said something which only now is starting to make a lot of sense
"We're jokers, not emotionalists"
I, on the other hand, was not contained within that "We're" for I am 100% emotionalist, jocularly shortened to "emo" by some
Now lets get one thing straight, I don't wear foundation and self harm. I just care. I'll cry when I see you cry. I'll be heartbroken. I'll take offence. But most of all, I will fight to the death for what I love. And I loved him. And when the world turned cold for us both, heaven help all those who were in my way.
That was the final sacrifice I made to this date, the conclusion to a particularly long list I might add. And you know what happened next between us?
Nothing
Fuck all. I was invisible. Not so much as a thank you.
Where had my little brother gone? Where was the man I could talk through the night with? He was on the end of the phone casting me away for being too emotional, that's where he bloody well was.
Maybe I'm being hard. It's been a stressful time for many of our circle recently; I know better than most the tole it can take.
But what comfort is that meant to be to a broken heart? A scrap of hope that it's like a nightmare, and will pass with the rising morning sun.
But the issue with nightmares, is that there's always a shred of truth with which the nightmare is built upon.
Was this truth what I'd feared for so long? Insignificance? Hatred? Pseudo-friendship?
As it happens, even with the clearing of the tears, it's hard to see what the situation is. But one thing is clear. Change has a nasty habit of tearing you apart, necessary or not.
So what does this bode for the new government? is that going to tear us apart? Or is it building upon a broken Britain? Many would argue both ways. Only time will tell.
On a more personal level, both A & B were good friends. And both I know I hurt in differing ways, for which I can be but sorry.
But both of them changed, regardless of my actions, and with that, my heart's been twisted into tight knots. Dreams become the sky above you, as your longing for a fantasy world become more powerful. Wishfully thinking would value that, as it contains both A & B, as they were, the brothers I loved.
What I'm left with is a reality that's both dark and hostile. What's left of my heart is still for them. But maybe there's one more necessary change to happen very soon. Maybe a new heart is in order, a new spirit. For who cares about those who tend a bleeding heart. It's those who are athletic, genii, hilarious or 'cool' who are the first pick of friends. And without any of those attributes, maybe the change in the neighboring world that encroaches ever faster as a shadow over the light of my life is trying to warn me. Maybe the world is sick of me waiting for them to come back. Maybe it's time to leave your heart at the door, and walk out into the world without the person that's come to suffer so much harbored within you. Or maybe the pain and wait is worth the reward...
Maybe, one day, I'll know the answer for myself. Maybe, one day, I'll be able to wake from my solemn hour, and maybe, one day, I'll be able to move on. Maybe. Just Maybe. x

Friday 30 April 2010

I have a new phone, and I have no intention of using it!

When Mr Telephone invented his ringing communications device, little did he suspect that into the next century, his device would have been evolved not to do what he'd designed it for...
"Mine takes 8megapixel photographs, can play up to 20,000 games and up to 1 Billion songs!"
"So, will you be able to text me back, say, this side of Christmas?"
"Are you mad sir? No technology alive can allow me to do that!"
And so it proceeds.
Life, it would seem, is full of unanswered texts and annoying ringtones.
And that, it would seem, would lead me to politics...
So many questions, and nobody offering a well reasoned answer. Tories have the economy sown up, but have no understanding of "young people"
Lib Dem's seem to avoid any large stereotypes, but in effect they don't have one for being a half decent option, they're just there, looking pretty. Nick Clegg is pretty much a rose, all very well, except he has a Cameron shaped thorn in his side, and that's a problem, he is better than Cameron in person, but not in practice
And Labour, well, that collapsed in on itself like a flan in a cupboard. And who'd have thought it when glittery young Blair was stood there, insisting he wouldn't enter an illegal war...
ok, maybe he didn't do that, but you see what I mean?
We're texting them our concerns, and they seem to have left their phone on the bus, and are receiving our issues through smoke signals
Maybe I should try that instead of trusting the goon on the other end of technology
Now, time for what a blog should be for, commenting on the state of the wider world.
Money seems to be the largest curse. Manchester City and Real Madrid are ruining the sport of football with too much of it. Greece is falling apart without it. Germany doesn't know what to do with its...
And then, on a smaller scale, our bank accounts, and the small part of us that dies inside when we see it.
What positive influence has money got? It stops the strongest people stealing from the smaller and weaker, which, I suppose for me, is a plus point.
But the agony it brings people. Surely it's more worthwhile to use a better system, an exchange maybe, but of trade and skills, not money. If you're good at something, surely that's a way forward?
Potentially, however there's only so many poets, gardeners and bar tenders in the world.
So is there a solution?
The economy just doesn't work if we have too much money apparently,
So maybe that's it. We don't need budgets and taxes, we have builders, we have decorators, we have doctors, we can do up the NHS without some useless shaved monkey in a suit telling us he'll do it if we give him power for half a decade...
So remove Parliament, rise a republic, do it ourselves, and don't vote for politicians, it only encourages them...

Thursday 29 April 2010

Start the revolution, facebook's rubbish, politics is rubbish, the world is rubbish

We'll level this country I say!
Now i've made my brief misanthrope introduction, I thought we'd get into the nitty gritty.
I thought I'd use this to vent. So let's do just that.
Doesn't life just get on your tits? I mean seriously! Everywhere you turn, there is something that'll piss you off. I mean, is it just me being a grump?
And it's a mixture of big and small things that are out to inconvenience us. For example, when did it become ok for technology to be offered to us, and then not work? Surely that's false advertisement?
"Sign up for our new super duper fast internet connection!"
But a few hours later...
"WHY THE HELL WONT YOU WORK YOU...!"
And don't claim it's just me. Some days you just want to walk into Currys with a flamethrower, and torch every git who works there and decides that it's ok to try sell you this malfunctioning tosh!
And to rub salt in our grumpy wounds, it's election season. Oh bloody joy. 3 gormless idiots who talk big and do nothing
What perfect representatives for today's society!
I mean, there are some people who say things like "sorry" and "how're you?" and expect that to be the end of that.
If you say sorry for something, bloody follow it up! People wonder why it's not always enough. Maybe because words don't save lives. You don't cure a paper-cut, broken leg, or anything in between on the scale by chanting incantations!
If you say "y'alright?" Expect to stop and listen on the frequently occurring off-chance that the answer is no, because if you're bothered enough to ask, be bothered enough to console, don't just keep walking on.
And when someone tries to talk to you, and you ignore them, whatever the reason, it's rude! You can go off people you know! And again, people find this complexing!
The same people who vote for Gordon Brown no doubt. And we think he's an idiot? As I said, best representative for Britain in this day and age.
Of course, I'm being unfair to some people. Not everyone is a narrow-minded selfish waste of blood and oxygen.
There are the girls walking round with war paint dousing every inch of skin, wearing low cut skirts and lower cut tops.
"Don't look at my breasts, I'm only thrusting them into your eyeline every other second! What are you freaks? Show some control!"
Perfectly reasonable behavior.
And please, if you have a 6 pack, great for you, but don't go showing it in the middle of a cosy Yorkshire town centre. It makes me want to have you hung drawn and quartered, so I can surgically remove your abdominal muscles and have them implanted into my chest. Bloody show offs.
If you have it, flaunt it, so the saying goes.
No,
Don't.
If you're good, great. Show us when it matters, like at a tournament if you're a sportsman,
Or in a gym if you're a body builder
you know, around people who might admire you? Aspire to you?
Everyone else who doesn't have an interest in your sport, hobby or dreams, really thinks you're an arrogant git!
People, who'd be one?

Right then:

Hello one and all. Wonderful things blogs, wonderful for the cowards who can't be arsed to say these things anywhere else.
It kinda just gives me a bit more space than Facebook or whatever else to just talk wildly into my computer.
As I said, wonderful thing.
I felt the urge to start blogging because my faith in real people has recently begun to wane. People being bitchy, people being stubborn, people being angry, people being mute...
And that's even before I wake up in the morning...
However, as hypocritical as I might sound at times, I do have a point. Recently it seems everyone has been waiting to stick the knife in. It seems for once I've escaped such a punishment, but, if anything, that makes me even more disgusted by it. When it's happening directly to you, you're left with the possibility you're over-reacting. However, with both a retrospective, and a distant view of proceedings, you get a pretty clear view of what's going on. And that scares the bejezus out of me!
I mean, I'll give you an example of the shock I've received recently.
I decide to send a text to someone I've not spoken to in a few days.
"Hello, How're you today?"
"F**k off!"
It's at times like that you begin to think the rest of the human race is a waste of time.
Another example. A friend I've not spoken to for a few weeks, and they have, in that time, gotten a girlfriend. Someone who you could talk to for hours, but now, the biggest thing in their life thus far, you would think, and not a word. Particularly when nothing actually changed.
Both those suddenly leave you think what exactly you can do.
And my decision? Talk to some loyal readers. Type up some interesting nuggets from my mundane life. Read on, and maybe you'll find something to make you laugh, cry, or just go, hmmm.
Times change, and maybe I just need to get used to those people- whom I sharen't name, they'll know who they are if they read this.
But I tell you what, I bet you you'll find anything up here more exciting than the politicians who are bombarding our lives,
Unless one happens to call you a bigoted woman!